What have we done?!

I thought of myself as being an American… until yesterday night. Now, in Trump’s America, I am not so sure.

And this is from my perspective as a relatively unbiased person. Before election night, I wasn’t really pro Clinton but I was definitely Anti-Trump. It is not because I hate the man himself. It is what he stands for… his divisive propaganda, his non-inclusive policies… I could go on for a while.

I understand that average Americans are tired of politicians and want to try something new. But this is like choosing to share someone’s used needle because you have been making safe choices all your life. This is not living on the edge, this is not taking a chance. This is taking that dive off the cliff without making sure your parachute is working.

I hope in the future, that this day provides the impetus for people to come together and work for positive change. But for what it is worth, America, you have just given people like Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh free reign to inflict their narrow-minded, toxic, invasive and derogatory opinions on the world. You have passed judgment today and found that you are okay with being headed by a man who has repeatedly spoken and acted derogatorily towards half the population, various minorities and people with special needs. If this is the America you want to be, I am not going to be able to stop anything from happening. But I sure hope you guys know what you are doing.

 

 

Don’t know why I’m talking about this today…

What is it like to not fear?

Is the absence of fear bravery?

Does everyone fear death? What does it mean that I have never been afraid of dying?

I am pretty sure at this point in my life that I have never been afraid of dying… until now that is. There is no guarantee that I might not suddenly develop that fear in the future, but for now, I do not fear death. This is not some grand declaration or exhibition of bravery. It is simply a truth of my life. I am not afraid of dying. I am not plagued by the idea of suddenly not existing anymore. I do not contemplate the possibilities of life existing beyond this realm or of the possibility of truth in the life after death concept or the idea of heaven and hell.

I used to be a believer as recently as a year ago.  And then some things happened in my life that made me question my unflinching faith in God. I am not going to go into the religiously transformative experiences. Suffice to say, I didn’t come out of it the in the same shape I entered. My belief system was radically altered enough for my mom to attempt staging an intervention.

But the point is, even when I was a strong believer in God and a follower of a religious path, I had never feared the end of my life. I was curious about the fact for a long time and have asked people around me quite a few times about their opinions on the fact. Most times, the only answers I received were brush-offs. No teenager was mature enough to understand the complexities of life, death and afterlife. This wasn’t what I was supposed to be questioning at that stage in life. I also realized as I grew up, that most everything that people did during their lifetimes was to prepare for their death and the unknown afterwards. But how is one supposed to prepare for something that one doesn’t even know exists?

And why fear something that you know is inevitable? Is preparing for your eventual passing going to change anything? Can you prepare for death? Other than in the usual financial preparations for your family and loved ones, is there any course of study that can prepare you adequately for the process of dying?

I couldn’t possibly regret anything when I am dead… or can I? There are so many religious and spiritual factions in this world that literally base their belief systems on the existence of an external force that is removed from the humdrum of our lives and capable of judging your entire life’s actions at a glance and pronouncing you fit or unfit for certain post-death activities. I mean, does an eternity of white, harp music and general gaiety sound that inviting? I know I am reducing the belief systems of a majority of this world to a couple of sentences of crass generalizations but with no proof of the contrary and a limited scope of imagination, I don’t know if I can do any better.

I know this is not a topic to be spoken of lightly and I have no idea why I chose to sound off on this today. I know for sure that I have not done myself or this topic any justice, but I just wanted to say… If I don’t live to see another day, I am happy to have been the person I am, done the things I have, experienced like I did and loved as I do. I am happy to have known you guys, even if it is only through the medium of an electronic cloud of information. But the one thing I am happiest about is the one thing I am very sure of… No regrets.

 

 

The Greens and the Nerdfighter phenomenon

When I saw a few days back on Twitter that Hank and Katherine had had their first baby, I was almost as happy as I would be if my own brother had become a father. I have never met Hank or John Green, nor any of their assorted family members in real life but they do form an important part of my life and have done so for the past 5 years.

It was 2011 when I saw my first vlogbrothers video… yes, I know I was pretty late in latching on to the internet phenomenon that the brothers had become. But right from that first video I watched, I was hooked. There was an indescribable quality to their videos that set them apart from everything else on Youtube… something that made me sit that Saturday afternoon with a bowl of popcorn and binge all their content; from the first Brotherhood 2.0 videos to the other channels that had developed from the vlogbrothers platform over the years.

I must say, most of my current Youtube subscriptions are either from channels that have their foundation in vlogbrothers or other Youtubers who collaborated with John or Hank over the years. SciShow, Crash Course, Vidcon and Project for Awesome are just a few of the beautiful, intelligent and endlessly interesting thought babies of Hank and John Green.

While John was, is and will be a famous author in his own right, Hank Green is entirely an internet phenomenon. It has been particularly inspiring watching Hank grow into his own stardom and understand the importance of his internet presence while still maintaining his core personality. The idea that he’s been able to be himself and stay that way through so much pressure to change and mold oneself to fit the best selling shtick is inspiring – while Hank has made me want to be more like him, he has inspired me to be more myself too.

Another thing I admire about the brothers is the way they are able to balance their stardom with their personal lives. Neither of the spouses spends a lot of time on camera nor do their children, pets or friends. But the feeling being a part of their community is always welcoming, all-encompassing and inclusive. They have also discussed many important and difficult topics on their videos without seeming preachy, self-pitying, self-important or obnoxious.

The enormous nerdfighter community that has sprung up from shared values and ideas inspired by the Green brothers, is a truly refreshing world to be a part of. To have such a strong, varied and resourceful support system in my life is a wonderful feeling that encourages me to put myself out more, experiment and learn more about me and my limitations or lack thereof.

I shall forever be grateful for all the fun, knowledge, courage and everyday encouragement that John, Hank and the entire nerdfighter community have given me for the past 5 years. I am thankful to John and Hank Green for having been such an important part of my life… And I hope to be able to grow as a person and make a difference in someone’s life like you did in mine.

As always, Don’t Forget to be Awesome

Hank and Katherine – Congratulations on the biggest achievement of your lives, baby Orin Green

 

Why is it so hard to challenge myself?

I’ve tried… and tried yet again to challenge myself to do something out of my comfort zone. And while I always start whatever it is I have challenged myself to do, I almost never complete the challenge. Why is that?

Is it because my contract is with myself? And no one else is witnessing my failure to go through with it? Why is keeping my word more important when it is given to another person? Am I not as important to myself as I think other people are to me? Am I forgiving myself to easily?

What is the way to make myself go out there and attempt things that are new and maybe uncomfortable… to make myself take more risks and complete whatever goals I set? Is a set of punishments the answer? Will a threat of punishment, possibly public embarrassment make me go through with it? If so, what should I do, within reason, if I fail to complete my task? Any ideas?

To be clear, this is an attempt to force myself to become more social… to put myself out there and experience new things. Get to understand more of the beautiful, complex and intriguing world out there. And one of the new things I want to attempt is a regular schedule of sharing bits of myself with others via social media outlets. I wish to regularly post on this blog, host a podcast for which I am searching for a like minded co-host and explore Twitter and Tumblr better than I have till now.

Of my followers, if I have any, and my friends on social media, I request your support as I undertake this challenge and your ideas and inputs on what sort of content you might like to see and hear from me in the future. Also, any ideas on what I should do if I fail to post on schedule, are welcome. I will start myself off with one post per week, usually sometime before noon EST/EDT on Mondays.

I look forward to hearing from you… thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance, for your support and suggestions.

Peace, Love and Pizza 🙂